Movie Review: Disney is "Arrr"med and Dangerous.

And seriously needs to stop making Pirates movies.

I remember going to the theaters to see Pirates of the Caribbean 1, "Curse of the Black Pearl" when I was 12 years old. I distinctly remember walking out of the theater and feeling like going on a grand pirate adventure (Stop laughing, I was 12). It was an exciting movie with the perfect touch of Disney charm that would make anyone want to be a pirate too, especially an imaginative 12 year old.

Last night I walked out of the theater after seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 3 "At World's End" with a sour taste in my mouth. It was more violent than 2, the plot was immensely confusing and some parts were just plain weird. There were also about 25 subplots...per character...(ok, I'm exaggerating, but not by much.) and the storyline(s) were either obscure, weak, or just stupid.

The really disappointing part, was that it really wouldn't have taken much to make it a great movie. It was incredibly funny and I was laughing my head off in the theater. The action and fight sequences were amazing and exciting. And as always, the musical score just got better. (Which is why I couldn't resist adding a piece to this page...Kudos Mr. Zimmer =D).

But because of a few awkwardly weird moments, a lot of insinuated violence, and too many repeat-jokes, it was light years away from the charming and witty original that made so many fans of the series.

It was also clear to me that the director of this movie isn't really taking this thing seriously. The last two movies have almost become just spoofs of the first, constantly making jokes about it and referencing it every other line.

Inbetween those lines, someone is getting killed in some creative or tragic way.

By number 2, the movie had already lost it's charm and become more incessant cruelty, fast action scenes and 'inside jokes' from the first movie. The third was just that times 10. Though still funny and exciting, it had completely lost it's original magic.

The Question
Why substitute quality for added violence and goofiness? The first one had a simple, straight, but good storyline. The characters were charming, and they created the villains in a way were you could laugh at the blumbering Norrington and still find a soft spot for the evil, but very witty, Captain Barbossa.

In 2 and 3, the villains are so cruel you want to jump in the movie and kill them yourself. In 3, the primary villain is the British Lord Beckett, who despite being a high standing British official, is more evil than any of the pirates in the movie (and trust me...there are LOTS of pirates in this movie.) A majority of the violence in Pirates 3 was completely unnecessary. Fortunately, the violence wasn't too graphic, but it gets closer and closer every movie to receiving an "R" rating. There was just way too much insinuation and unneeded death and gruesomeness.
C'mon Mr. Verbinski, this is based on a kid's ride at Disneyland, not a horror novel!

So that scream you may have heard this morning was when I read an article that they're looking to make Pirates 4. I fear it's just going to be more inside jokes, more unresolved plots, less Disney charm, and of course, more violence. Yes, everyone loves Captain Jack Sparrow, but honestly, if you can't get enough of him then just go watch the other three a billion times instead of making the rest of us suffer through another lame storyline that puts the gore over the top. We love the action and humor, but it just won't be worth it at the rate these movies are going.

I just wish the caliber of good movies wasn't based on how much a director can get away with, but how much value the audience can get out of it.


At least the music's still great.

~*Hol

Edit:: If any of you have seen the movie yet I would like to hear your take on it too.